Friday, 24 February 2017

100 Prettiest Tennis Pros

100 Best-Looking Female Tennis Players

Women's tennis is full to the brim with butch, manly "women" who resemble farm-yard animals rather than human females that any normal male would ever desire, so it took a lot of patience to separate the girls from the men, the rare estrogen from the abundant testosterone. Searching for good-looking gals in the world of professional and semi-professional tennis was a bit like digging through tons of mud hoping to find gold. I must have gone through 2,000-3,000 past and present players to compile this list, hence this is without a doubt the most comprehensive list of its kind on the internet.

What criteria did I use? The criteria used was the face, not the body. It's basically a face list. Some of these women have terrific bodies as well, while some are quite hopeless in that regard - but neither influences the ranking. Nevertheless, I have sometimes included body photos, simply because some of these gals have even more to offer than "just" their pretty faces.

What level of athletic success makes someone eligible to be on this list? That's much trickier to answer. She doesn't have to be a top player, nor does she even have to have had a high ranking (which is subjective anyway). Most women on this list have been in the top 1000 WTA, or been pro tennis players at some point. However, I have also included several women that compete(d) on the American college circuit; I suppose they're neither pros nor amateurs, but somewhere in the grey area. Hey, as long as they're cute! Who gives a shit about the fine print. I certainly didn't include any amateurs who just play for fun on weekends - and that should be good enough for you.

I'd posted the original version of this list a few years back on a music/film site. Aside from the fact that I'm a list fetishist and do them on just about any topic I can think of, the main reason for doing this particular list was the annoyance I felt seeing what kind of ugly athletes are included on various shoddily put-together "best-looking tennis pros" lists. These "hot tennis babes" (what a dumb title) lists are usually made by geeks who get a hard-on by anything that moves.

Most lists about pretty WTA-ers/ITF-ers are highly incomplete and obviously made by lazy, incompetent morons, hence why they mostly include crap faces. The major difference between this list and others like it is that mine does NOT focus only on very successful top pros. Most tennis fans only know several dozen female pros, so that's where they pick their "beauties" from,  espousing the alleged/imaginary great looks of the likes of the Sereno-Penus sisters, and even Jankovic and Henin! You won't find any such "gorgeous" women here. These guys seem to confuse good looks with athletic success. Apparently, some geeks get blinded by the cash some of these women make, hence start regarding them as far more attractive than they actually are. (I call it the "Jennifer Aniston delusion"; popularity always makes a person much more attractive than they are.) Furthermore, the internet is full of misinformation, such as names and photos being mismatched. For example, there is a pic of Simona Halep making the rounds on various sites that isn't her at all but some other girl. You won't find those kinds of fuck-ups here.
Unfortunately, WTA's top 50 (i.e. the elite) is hardly beauty pageant territory; the most that you'll find there is a handful of good-looking gals. The better a WTA pro is, the more the likelihood that she's playing well coz she's got more testosterone hence looks like like a man hence looks quite shit. Naturally, there are major exceptions to this rule, as you will see (or be reminded of).

Notice that I didn't use the word "beautiful" in the title. This is because there was no way in hell I'd find 100 stunning-looking tennis pros that are all clean tens; as we all know the WTA doesn't have anywhere near that many. Of course, there are many beautiful women listed here, but the bottom starts with women I'd describe as pretty rather than beautiful.

Many tennis pros did professional photo sessions in which most of them end up looking (much) better than they normally do. I tried not to fall into this trap, hence looked at multiple pics of a player before I decided whether she was pretty enough for the list, and if so how high I'd place her. Unlike the makers of other "hot tennis babes" lists, I did not get suckered by excessive make-up and photo-shopping.

Did I miss out anyone? Chances are that if you believe someone is left out, she is missing because I didn't want her here, not because I haven't heard of her. This especially goes for top 100 players. Nevertheless, I might have omited a few lesser known pros who deserve to be on this list. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

100. Flavia Pennetta - Italian  
Looks much better with some make-up, admittedly, but I can't judge these women just by the way they look when they're sweaty and exhausted - although most good-looking women look better with no make-up. She could easily get a role in a western playing a squaw.
Is dating Fabio Fognini, the short-legged ATP loon.
She is on the so-called "suspicious list" published by a Swedish magazine, listing all those players who may have been involved in match-fixing. If she's guilty, she's a greedy, corrupt little cow.
I wanted Vinci to win that USO finale, but was glad to have a Serena-less finale for once, as were 99% of all WTA fans.

99. Nicole Vaidisova - Czech
No-one understands why this woman (plus Martina Hingis and Kvitova, plus God knows how many more misguided Czech players) went out with Radek Stepanek - let alone married him - as he is one of the most amphibious creatures on the men's tour. Nicole is not a beauty, although features heavily on lists such as this one. But good enough to just make it on the list. Body-wise, too tall and bony - though that doesn't affect her ranking here, as this isn't a body list.
Had a promising career but stopped playing for whatever reason. Was close to reaching the top 10 at one point.

98. Urszula Radwańska - Polish 
Very cute, this one, unlike her rather hopeless-looking sister Agnieszka who's a Top 3 player. Why isn't Ula there instead of her sister? Because there is no justice in the world. Both have nice bodies.
Frcrissakes, get out of the Sun, Ula! Your skin type bursts up in flames within minutes.

97. Klara Zakopalová (Koukalová) - Czech
Isn't particularly photogenic, looks much better on court.

96. Junri Namigata - Japanese
Japanese women are among the sexiest/prettiest in the world, which is why a list like this would be incomplete without at least one.

95. Yuliana Lizarazu - Colombian
I got some flack the last time around for including her on the previous list, but I don't care what clueless morons think. She's cute.

94. Amy Frazier - American
She looks better on her younger-days photos. (No, not when she was 11!) Mild-mannered and lady-like on court, unlike many. Back in the 90s when the ATP was overrun by bison, she was one of the very rare players that looked like a woman. The wholesome Bible-belt type. I wouldn't be even surprised if she turned out to be a Mormon, coz they're often nice people. Certainly much nicer than Jehovas Witnesses, and we all know which two sisters belong to that particular vile sect.

93. Andrea Hlaváčková - Czech
I am not a fan of huge mouths, but this girl has got something. Doesn't look good from every angle though. I always try to pick the most flattering photos.

92. Lesia Tsurenko - Ukraine   
Body-wise, she's in the top 15 on this list. If she had 20 slams like Serena, she'd be making 20 times as much money as that aggressive, racist roidbot does.

91. Camila Giorgi - Italian
Doesn't look as good when she isn't smiling, which explains the choice of pics. She is Jewish.

90. Mia Nicole Eklund - Finland
As you can see, Finland isn't just about blonds. I really like this type of woman.

89. Valeria Savinykh - Russian
Another one with a huge mouth, big enough to catch fast-flying tennis balls, but the shape is nice. The head is a little too round perhaps, but the eyes are amazing, and so is the hair. (OK, so it's a face and hair list.) Sort of like a prettier version of Vera Zvonareva, who looks OK.

Will she be the only Russian on the list? Look on and find out. Perhaps there won't be any more Russians. Perhaps the Williams sisters await you. And Henin. And Mauresmo. And Mandlikova.

88. Regina Rajchrtová (Kordová) - Czech 

I couldn't find a proper photo of her. Married to ex-ATP pro, a slam winner and a proven drug cheat, Petr Korda; they have a cute daughter who's a pro golfer.

87. Viktoria Kamenskaya - Russian

86. Diana Tokar - Ukrainian
She better start posting more photos of herself on the internet, coz this unclear shitty pic is all I've got. How does she expect to be placed on such lists if she isn't available on Google?

85. Barbora Záhlavová-Strýcová - Czech
Looks great on these pics, but if she looked like this always, she'd be higher up. Was a little chubbier at the start of her pro career. Seeing such photos years ago, I thought she was quite tall. So imagine my surprise when I saw her on the court. She barely reaches the net.
She was caught doping fairly recently. Not the brightest cookie. Also known for occasional bizarre behaviour on the court, such as in her match with Venus Williams during which she constantly moaned in monologue form about Venus making challenges - as if that's not allowed or something. There's a clip of it on YouTube.

84. Lucia Batta - Hungarian
If this were a porn list, Hungarian women would be all over it. As it is, she might be the only one from that country here. I will tell you this much though: if you're waiting to see photos of Szavay, give it up. She isn't on this list coz I consider her face to be average at best. If this were a tennis body list (or a likability list), Szavay would be in the first 5 probably.

83.Tatiana Perebiynis - Ukrainian

82. Marta Domachowska - Polish
Her best features are undoubtedly her boobs and body, but her face is nice too. Looks much prettier on court.  
Did Playboy photos. I don't know if she did it more for the attention or the cash. Either way, it would have been nice to see the other boob too.

81. Michelle Larcher De Brito - Portuguese
I was convinced she was Anglo-Saxon when I first saw her. I don't see a smidgen of South Europe in that face. Perhaps some sort of mix. Certainly the name "de Brito" might be a hint.

80. Yaroslava Shvedova - Russian, plays for Kazakhstan
A cheerful sort. Looks better on court.

79. Olivia Sanchez - French
Looks a little peeved on the left photo, but then again she is French.

78. Daria Sharapova - Belorussian
No, not that Sharapova, and not related to her either. Maria comes later. Or does she? Perhaps I don't even like Maria. Perhaps I'm a huge fan of the Sereno-Penus sisters.

77. Jill Nora Engelmann - German
This face should please any guy. I doubt I'll be hearing complaints about her.
But if I do get complaints, I'll know straight away they're coming from disgruntled Serena Williams fans, who are gay.

76. Martina Balogova - Slovak 
A gentle sort of face, not at all what fans of Steffi Graf are looking for in women. Like Agassi, if a large schnoz isn't there, they lose interest. I believe Andre would divorce her if she decided to get a nose job.

75. Xenia Suworowa - plays for Germany, Slavic origin 

74. Anna Mamalat (Volosevic) - American

73. Aleksandra Kravets - Ukrainian

72. Ioana Olaru - Romanian

71. Ksenija Milevskaya - Belorussian

70. Marina Khomenko - Ukrainian
Looks great on these photos, but less so from the profile, which is why she isn't higher up.

69. Raluca Platon - Romanian

68. Mayya Katsitadze - Russia

67. Viktoriya Kutuzova - Ukrainian
I actually thought she was ugly the first time I saw her. (Obviously, I didn't have these photos to judge her by.) Not a classical beauty by a long shot, I realize that, but she's got something unique, and comes off very cute. The sort of face that grows on you. The freckles and very nice tan certainly help.
Looks very friendly.

66. Khristina Blajkevich - Ukrainian, plays for Canada
One of a number of Slavic women that play for Western countries. I don't know where Canadian tennis would be today without all those Yugos and Russians playing for them.
Actually, I do know: it would be in the toilet, right next to Rusedski's aging turds. (Hang on, Rusedski is half-Ukrainian!)

65. Anna Chakhvetadze - Russian
A former Top 10 player, at a time when there were as many as FOUR cute girls ranked there. Obviously, that's a record that will never be equaled again, let alone surpassed. Who are the other three? They are further down the list.
She and her family members were once robbed at their home, and tied to chairs. That's what you get from being wealthy and living in Moscow. Poor thing was quite traumatized after that and played badly for a while. Did Putin ever have these thugs arrested? He probably organized the whole thing.

64. Anastasia Pivovarova - Russian

63. Jelena Dokić - Serb, played for Australia, then for Serbia, and now again for Australia
A SF-ist at Wimbledon, and a former Top 10 player, she's had quite a roller-coaster career, mainly due to private problems that involved her psychopathic father. Aside from getting into brawls with parents of her opponents, the bearded midget also used her to help the election campaign of the Serbian Radical Party, an ultra-right Nationalist lunatic fringe. But what else could one possibly expect from a friggin' truck-driver?
Very nice boobs (I mean Jelena, not her fat father). 

62. Ioana Ducu - Romania

61. Amanda Janes - English
Typical cute English face, and an atypically tall un-English-like body.
Uncharacteristically small boobs for an English woman (allegedly they have the largest breasts in Europe).

60. Heidi El-Tabakh - Egyptian, plays for Canada
I'm not a great fan of Arab women, but this one has a face that speaks volumes in her favour. Her body isn't bad either.

59. Zarina Diyas - Kazakhstan
I wonder what she thinks about Borat.

58. Diana Enache - Romanian
I love it when nipples fight their way through several layers of clothes. Only very mighty nipples can do that. Looks sort of French, for some reason. Has classic good looks, should appeal to a lot of guys.
Quite a few Romanians on the list.

57. Jarmila Gajdošová (Groth) - Slovak, but plays for Australia
I used to confuse her with another player, Mandy Minnella, until I realized there are two of them and that this one's the prettier one. I didn't like her that much at first, but this is the type of face that grows on you after a while. Wholesome, friendly-looking, but whether she is like that, only she knows.

56. Karolina Jovanović - Serb
She is extremely tall, which you can't see on the photos, but what a fantastic pair of boobs.
If this were a tennis boobs list, she'd be in the top 5, for sure.
She took part in a Serbian reality TV show, entering the house with a tiny 60 year-old guy whom she bickered with regularly. Or maybe he looked tiny compared to her.

55. Jocelyn Rae - Scottish
Far too tall, but this is a face list. Great natural blond hair. So Nordic-looking.

54. Jasmijn Keijzer - Dutch
Utterly cute, adorable. 

53. Elpida Papanelopoulou - Greek
If she had as many titles as letters in her last name, she'd be a big name by now.

52. Jenny Zika - Austrian
Forget the blond look, black hair suits you better.

51. Lina Lileikite - Latvian
Whether or not you like her unusual cute face, you'll have to admit she's almost perfectly built. Perhaps the best legs on this list.

50. Donna Vekić - Croat
Up-and-coming talent. Watch her win Grand Slam titles in a few years. 
Let's just hope she doesn't become all butch and manly by the time she's 23. 
And let's hope she smartens up and sorts out her sex-life which even extends to those young Aussie scumbags. She is the one Nick Kyrgios referred to as having been "fucked" by Kokkinakis when Nick was taunting Donna's current boyfriend Stan Wawrinka during a 2015 match. If she wants to make it on the WTA tour, she needs to spend less time on the ATP tour.

49. Lucie Šafářová - Czech
She has such a strange face, not to everybody's taste I'm sure, but she's always fascinated me. Went out with Thomas Berdych who then replaced her with a fashion model.

48. Clothilde De Bernardi - French
She does have an unusual look, I'll admit, but that's a plus not a minus. If you were expecting dirty-diaper Barbies on this list, go to a porn site.

47. Annabel Croft - English
Not photogenic at all, looks far better when she listens to Mats Wilander talk shit. Listening to his nonsense for so many years, she deserves a medal. 
And she's aged very well. Charming and smart.

46. Anastasia Kriz - Austrian
I'd love to tell you what kind of Ethnic mix we have here - coz she sure as hell ain't just Germanic - but I simply don't have a clue.

45. Alexia Virgili - Italian

44. Ingrid Alexandra Radu - Romanian

43. Marieta Vágnerová - Czech

42. Vlada Ekshibarova - Uzbekistani
If Simona Halep had a prettier face, this is what she would look like. Though don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Simona, except her criminal decision to have her huge FFFFF boobs reduced to the size of my thumb.

41. Bronte Goodhue - American
There can never be too many freckles. Just wanted to make that clear. Freckle-haters are usually gay.

40. Monika Wejnert - Australian
I'll be the first to admit she looks a bit like Shelley Duvall (from "The Shining"), but so what?

39. Diana Marcinkevica - Latvian
She's more the cute type, but I've always preferred cute to classically beautiful.
I'm sure a lot of you will disagree with her high placement. 
Not a fake blond, either. She's as Nordic as they come.

38. Harriet Sheahan - Australian
Doesn't look as great as this from the profile, but a nice body and hair as well.

37. Barbara Schett - Austrian
I wish Steffi Graf had her last name. Then I could call the big-nosed bitch Steffi Shat, or even better Steffi's Shit Schett. As for Barbara, I don't even think she does no.2. Too pretty for that. Hiring her was the only smart thing Eurosport had ever done besides hiring Annabel.

I've always considered her extremely cute. The overbite is a very Austrian feature that usually ruins women's looks, but not this time. A cheerful sort, likable and charming even when she speaks with that shitty Austrian dialect.
Se acts as such a sexy and wonderful contrast to the dumb, biased, cocaine-sniffing Mats Wilander, who was even caught with cocaine in his system by the ATP in 1995.

36. Stefania Chieppa - Italian
Proof that women don't have to shave off their eyebrows in order to look great. Hopefully she won't get any ideas and starts plucking away at them. Men have nipples and women have eyebrows: deal with it, accept it.
As you can plainly see, she's has the whole package.

35. Anna Smolina - Russian
I forgot to remove the black stripe. Was blinded by her beauty, that's why.

34. Anastasia Pribylova - Russian

Fingers crossed this one starts winning slams in a few years! We can't have Sereno dominate at the age of 44, winning her 39th slam title, we just can't. It's bad enough she's a man, let alone an old man slaying all these poor girls. Perhaps Nastya can cut off Sereno's large balls. Figuratively speaking. And literally.

33. Lara Fakhoury - probably Arab, but played for Britain
A bit of an exotic change for those of you who dislike Slavic girls (those 3% of you with latent sexual issues).

32. Caterina Ghedin - Italian
This one won't appeal to everybody. But like I give a shit. My list, my choices. 
I am a little surprised though how many Italian women made it on the list. But hey, not all of them look like Frankie!
Frankie Schiavone, I mean: the man, the legend.

31. Ashley Harkleroad - American
All-American type, very cute. Not crazy about the small breasts though. 
The great thing about tennis is that small-breasted WTA pros can't have breast augmentation until they're finished playing. I hate silicone implants.

30. Monika Tumova - Czech
Perhaps you've noticed that the list is full of Slavic girls. As was to be expected, since they happen to be the best-looking women in the world.

29. Ksenia Lykina - Russian
You can tell she's Russian from a mile away.

28. Joana Eidukonyte - Lithuanian
It's nice to have a cat on the list.

27. Elena Vesnina - Russian
No classic beauty here, Vesnina is different. In a very good way.
But I'm sure we can all agree on the body.

26. Elena Volobueva - Russian
This is all I got. I have a feeling she'd be higher up the list if I had proper pics of this Russian stunner.

25. Julia Görges - German
The world's foremost Sandra Bullock look-alike, and it makes sense considering that the Hollywood dummie is German as well. Chesty as well as pretty, plus successful on the pro tour: there should be more of them like this.

24. Melanie Marois - Canadian
Not so photogenic, looks much better (than the right pic).

23. Dominika Cibulková - Slovak
If she had an upturned nose, she'd be in the top 5 on this list, coz everything else on her face is pretty much flawless. Reached the top 10 on the WTA (coz they don't go by noses). She's like a fast little bunny that runs down balls.
Went out with Gael Monfils, who is rather tall; what a couple. There must be half a meter between them.

22. Justine de Sutter - Belgian

She's ultra-cute even when she hits a ball. Now that's rare. I rarely use photos when these gals hit tennis balls, because even the prettiest ones grimace like hell, but she's cute at all times.

21. Julia Bone - English
I love English girls, and her face is the prototype of that.

20. Aneta Barchánková - Czech
Quit tennis when she realized how pretty she was (or that she couldn't cut it among the pros). Now just another model.

19. Natalia Perepadenko - Russian, plays for Spain
Sort of like mini-Sharapova face-wise. If she ends up having half her success, I'd be satisfied.

18. Marina Lushchina - Russian

17. Sania Mirza - Indian
Short but sweet. Mirza looks terrific, from head to toe. A huge star in India, as you can well imagine. 
The poor girl got a lot of stress from Moslem radicals, including threats, just because of the way she dressed on court. Did they fucking expect her to wear a fucking hijab while she served for a fucking match?
Oh, yes. Kvadratisch, praktisch, gut.

16. Natalie Proese - German
Germany has certainly had its fair share of shit-looking orcs in the past decades, so this one is a very nice change.

15. Romana Tabakova - Slovak
Some luckless moron posted a comment here that Romana can't be considered exotic-looking "because she is Central European". Didn't we ban cretins from using the internet? Not yet?'

14. Marta Sirotkina - Russian
I love red-heads, freckles, a pale complexion, and Russian gals. So she has it all, in a sense.

13. Polina Leykina - Russian

12. Silvija Njirić - Croat
She plays doubles with the girl ranked in 4th place here. Glamour double: there should be more of those.

11. Maria Kirilenko - Russian
Recently she made her debut in the top 10, becoming only the 10th woman from this list to accomplish this feat. There can never be enough pretty gals at the top generally dominated by monsters! Well done.
She looks her best when she smiles, but always very cute.
Went out with Igor Andreev.

10. Elena Wagner (Pampoulova-Bergomi) -
Bulgarian, played for Germany

Charming woman, reached the top 100 in the 90s. I couldn't find many photos, and this one being of quite poor quality means you'll just have to trust me on this one. I even had her in 1st place in the previous version of this list.

9. Nataša Zorić - Serb
Serbia's female pros are usually either gorgeous or ugly. Weird.

8. Julia Goloborodko - Ukrainian
No complaints? I thought so.
Typical Russian beauty. Or Ukrainian. Same thing.

7. Aleksandra Kolesnichenko - Uzbekistani
I think these photos speak for themselves. Anyone who disagrees with her high placement must be demented, blind, gay, or likes ugly women.
Some retard posted here that tennis "is about athletic ability and not looks". Well, why the hell did he visit this list then link then? The answer: he's just as much a hypocritical lusting old drooling fucker as all the other lusting old drooling hypocrites pretending to watch women's tennis just for the sports. It's not an either/or: unless you're an imbecile who can't walk and chew gum at the same time, you can easily enjoy both the tennis and the looks.

6. Daniela Hantuchová - Slovak
Extremely likeable, as well as cute. A top 10er on this list as well as on the WTA, at least a few years back. Danijela is mentally weak, as is the case with most players this pretty (the uglies have more testosterone hence are more confident hence win more); she has the potential to win more. A very friendly face, I'd be quite surprised if she were a bitch. 
She had her anorexic phase about a decade ago, when the media crushed her and she ended up in tears. She did look shit weighing 11 kilos so I'm glad she smartened up and started eating again.
Too tall, but well built.

5. Anna Kournikova - Russian
Rather than complain that she never won a singles title, people should be glad someone looking like this ever made it to the Top 10, especially at a time when ugly women almost uniformly dominated the WTA. Fell into the "I'm so purrty I should do better things such as modeling" trap (for idiots), which prevented her from achieving better results, but she also had bad luck with injuries.

 4. Amandine Hesse - French

I chose not to place any pics of her smiling, coz she looks less attractive when she does. Unfortunately, this class of beauty rarely makes it to the top - which seems to be reserved for she-beasts like Sereno and Henin.

3. Ana Ivanović - Serb
Don't think I put here in 3rd place for patriotic reasons, because that's not how I operate at all. In fact, she tops most lists of this kind, world-wide.
Ana was barely in the top 10 on my original Top 100 list, but I realized that she is rather tough to beat face-wise, as I'm sure 99% of you will agree. Body-wise - an entirely different matter. Recently, she's gone almost anorexic, after being slightly overweight for a while; although this has helped her move better, she looks far less appealing now.

2. Lesley Kherkove - Dutch
I suspect a lot of you will think she doesn't deserve to be anywhere near the top 50, let alone no.2. Well, I don't give a shit. Lesley's beauty is to be appreciated by fine connoisseurs such as myself, not mere peasants.
On the left photo, her mouth resembles Lisa Kudrow's (Lisa's only good feature). The right pic shows her in a more heavy-set version, but I like her both thin and chubby.
I suspect she might be part-Oriental, which would explain her unusual looks.

As you can see, she has a lot to offer in the chestal region too. Just perfect, this Dutch gal.

1. Maria Sharapova - Russian
Yes, of course it's Maria at the top. Who did you think it was? Steffi Graf? Perfect lips, the cute upturned nose, the soft oval head-shape without any jagged edges: she does in fact have a perfect face.
She's number 1 here, and she was WTA's no.1 several times. What a feat. I bet she'll be even more proud of this no.1 spot, huh?
I wish she'd beat Sereno Tyson occasionally. But it can't be easy for her to face a man in the finales every time, after a streak of matches against women.
Maria wins because this is a face list. Body-wise she's not bad, but far too tall (187 cm).

Almost Made It. 
Here are some names that either almost made it on the list or would be included if this were a top 150. These are girls that certainly look nice or OK, but not quite good enough for the top 100:

Ana Savic (CRO), Barbara Haas (AUT), Petra Uberalova (SVK), Vanesa Furlanetto (ARG), Severine Beltrame (FRA), Alize Lim (FRA), Kimiko Date (JAP), Kristina Antoniychuk (UKR), Akgul Amanmuradova (just kidding!), Sarah Fansler (USA), Grace Sari Ysidora (INA), Anna Brazhnikova (UZB/SWE), Alexandra Damaschin (ROM), Maryna Zanevska (UKR), Nara Kurumi (JAP), Daria Gajos (GER), Alexandra Tsinanis (AUS), Yanina Wickmayer (BEL), Kim Couts (USA), Indy de Vroome (HOL), Trina Slapeka (LAT), Tjasa Srimpf (SLO), Eleonora Sitdjemileva (UZB), Gussy Moran (USA), Dea Herdzelas (B&H), Stanislava Hrozenska (SVK), Jessica Moore (AUS), Marcella Cucca (ITA), Laila Ben Abderrahman (BEL), Larissa Carvalho (BRA), Aliaksandra Sasnovich (BEL), Yana Buchina (RUS), Yuliana Umanets (UKR), Nadya Kolb (UKR), Evgeniya Linetskaya (RUS/ISR), Angelique Widjaja (INA), Nadejda Guskova (RUS), Elizabeth Kobak (USA), Mary-Joe Fernandez (USA), Stefanie Voegele (GER), Ani Vangelova (BUL), Anet Kaasik (EST), Anne Schaeffer (GER), Camille Pin (FRA), Inoue Miyabi (JAP), Shana Claes (BEL), Iroda Tulyaganova (UZB), Alison Riske (USA), Constance Sibille (FRA), Jana Nejedly (CZE), Angelique Kerber (GER), Martina Parmigiani (ITA), Elizaveta Kulichkova (RUS), Elena Maltseva (RUS), Maria Mokh (RUS), Tamara Bizhukova (RUS), and last but not least Marion Bartoli (FRA):

You Might Have Expected These On The List

These are players that feature on many such lists, but never had a chance here because they are either average or ugly, or for some other reason.

Gabriela Sabatini. Has a square-shaped jaw, and her “beauty” is vastly overrated, probably because people compared her to Graf, Sanchez, Navratilova and other awful-looking contemporaries. Even Roseanne Barr would have looked good next to that lot. Sometimes she even reminds me of a man. So absolutely no way I’d ever put her on a top 100 list, not even top 200.

Elena Dementieva. Her face is average, at best. The only reason she makes it on other people's lists is because she was a top 5 player and many people know her – i.e. they haven’t seen most of the players I’ve shown you here.

Bondarenko sisters. Alona has a decent body, but this is a face list, and face-wise she doesn't impress. The less said about her sister Kateryna, the better.

Sereno Williams. Are you kidding me? WTA’s foremost Mike Tyson impersonator wouldn’t be on my WTA list even if it were a top 5000. She’s half-man half-beast, and I truly choke on my saliva from laughter whenever I see her being praised for “sexiness” and “beauty”. If you like huge muscular thighs and biceps/triceps that can lift four trucks at once, then she’s your man. Honestly, whoever considers her sexy needs to re-examine his sexuality, coz you might just be latently gay. Mike Tyson with tits. Sereno fans must check out this link:

Agnes Szavay. As I mentioned already, she’s got a spiffin’ body and boobs, but her face is average. That’s why. 

Victoria Vanucci. Yes, she looks great, but was she really a pro? I didn't find a speck of evidence that she ever played one WTA, ITF or even junior match, aside from journalists parroting other people's claims that she was a tennis pro. If I find evidence she really did play tennis on a serious level, she will join the list. 

Vojislava Lukic. Her face is below average, and she is far too tall - although height obviously has nothing to do with the list. She has no business being on any kind of sexy WTA-ers lists. 

Andrea Petkovic. For those of you who find this ogre "cute", you have probably found yourself attracted to Thai lady-boys at some point, right? You might wanna re-evaluate your sexuality. 

Eugenie Bouchard. At first glance she appears to have a decent face. But look closer: she looks like a frat boy, like a male high school jock. Her huge manly chin ruins whatever positive features she might have. Especially from the profile does she look manly. 

Caroline Wozniacki. To me she’s a typical average-looking blond of the type you can find millions of in Northern Europe. But just because she became no.1, suddenly men started looking at that average blond face as above-average, because success affects how people judge physical appearance. The more money or fame you have, the more attractive you become to certain people. It actually took me a while to remember her face when she first appeared, that's how stereotypical her face is.

For a closer look at the Strong Is Beautiful campaign: 

Let the bitching begin - WTA quotes: 


No comments:

Post a Comment